Actions Speak

Can I be honest with you real quick? This summer I've really struggled with having a consistent quiet time. And I know that's kinda a normal thing for college kids during the summer months. It's easy to get out of that routine. But honestly, I've had a pretty consistent schedule this whole summer. And if I were to be brutally honest with myself, it's probably because I just haven't felt like it.

I'd rather take the extra time getting ready or reading an article on Facebook or even sleeping. It sounds really pathetic now that I am typing it. But you know what? I am human. I struggle. I don't have my life together. I'm not saying it's okay to stay here, but sometimes I just get stuck.

Anyways, I say all this to tell you that I've been a little discouraged this summer. I just haven't been the person I really want to be. And I know it's because I have been pushing God to the side. I've honestly just felt really kinda useless. I haven't gone on a mission trip. I'm not volunteering at a church VBS. I'm not in any kind of small group. I feel like I have all this free time, yet I'm not doing anything to further the kingdom of God.

...or so I thought.

Earlier tonight I was talking to my roommate about my waitressing job. I was just telling her about some of the people I work with and how it's very interesting how I can live so close to people who live such different lives. Of course I know this, but to actually have relationships with these people really hits me.

I've mentioned before that pretty much my whole life I've spent living in a bubble. I really did grow up in a sheltered environment. Maybe not as shelter as some, but still. I've always gone to school with  Christians and worked for people who are actively involved in church. So going from that to the restaurant business has really opened my eyes. I knew that it would too.

But tonight, I was reflecting about my life compared to the lives of my co-workers. If you know me, you know that when I first meet you that I have a pretty quiet spirit (until you really get to know me ;)). I'm respectful and I do what I am told to do. I don't like conflict or making people upset. Obviously, I'm the same way at work. I do what I am told and what needs to be done.

But one of the things my co-workers have noticed is that I don't curse. This is not because I think that cursing is necessarily wrong and I don't think that people who curse are bad. I simply don't because that's not the first thought that pops into my head. I guess it's just the way I grew up.

They know that I don't take a smoke break. Again, nothing personal. I just don't feel the need to smoke.

[[Please,please, please don't think that I am sitting here judging these people for the decisions they have made. I really am not, I'm just pointing out these things to make a bigger point. We all sin differently--who am I to judge you or anyone else??]]

But I say this because I think a lot of my co-workers know that there is something different about me. And it's not because I go into work preaching the word of God. Honestly, I don't think I've ever mentioned God or church before. Not because I'm ashamed, but because it hasn't really come up.

And yes, I could bring Jesus up and start a conversation, but sometimes I think that we forget that our actions speaker louder than our words. Actually, I think most times actions speak louder than words.

And you know what, yes, there are all-around good kids, who don'tt curse or smoke and don't claim to be Christians. But the difference is, if someone were to ever say "Hey Cullen, you're different. Why's that?" 
The ball has been put in my court.
The door has been opened.
And it's nothing I've forced.
They've asked and they want to know. So I will tell them.
I will tell them about Jesus.

More than likely, I'm not going to lead someone to Christ this summer.  I might not even get to have a conversation, but you know what? That's not going to stop me from living a life that glorifies God. Oh, how quickly I've forgotten that my whole existence is to bring praise to the King. And if that's just by being "a good kid." Then maybe that's what I have to do.

I write this tonight in order to encourage you. Maybe you are in a similar situation, or maybe not. But either way, Jesus is using you. Whether you feel it or not. He using you to further his kingdom. And you might not be the person that leads someone else to Christ, but you can be the seed that is planted. Or the person who shows someone that not all Christians are Bible-thumping-condemning-hypocrites. That there really are people out there that just want to listen and love on them.

So wherever you are this summer. Do not loose heart. It's funny because 6 weeks ago, I posted this on Instagram

The caption underneath read

|| God is using you exactly where you are this summer-across the world or country, at work, with the people you hang out with, and even at home. Remember this, wherever you happen to be ||

It's awesome to see that throughout the summer, the message has been the same. God can use you, no matter where you are!