This is an excerpt from my journalings earlier today.
"The one thing that I can tell you for sure is that Christ is working in my heart. He is using my loneliness as a tool to bring me closer to Him. And as much as I hate that taking Bryce out of the picture forced that, I am coming to terms and beginning to be okay with that. I once heard “Get close to God before getting close with man. Because God without man is still God, but man without God is nothing.” I am choosing to be thankful for this time in my life. Even if it means this constant feeling of loneliness and misdirection. I am choosing to trust that Jesus knows what He’s doing and I don’t. There is great relief but also fear of the unknown. I don’t know where this is going to take me. I don’t know how Christ is going to use this in my life, but I do know that He will. I rest in the fact that God is in total control and there’s absolutely no way He could mess up my life."