235 miles

As many of you know, I’m in a long distance relationship. We are 4 hours away from each other. Neither of us have a car. We have seen each other 3 times in the course of 3 months. There are some days that are so hard. Days where it seems like nothing is going right and I just need my best friend. There are days when I feel like there is no point to continue and I want to throw in the towel. Then there are days (these days outweigh the rest) where I am completely satisfied with where our relationship is at. But at the end of each day, I know that I made the best decision.

As much as I hate it, the distance has been the best thing for our relationship. Bryce and I have grown, separately and together, in our walks with the Lord. We don’t take our time together for granted (I don’t think we ever really did). We have been able to refocus and see what the purpose of this relationship is. Trust is something huge. Personally, I don’t think you can have a relationship without trust, but you definitely can’t have a long distance relationship without trust. Although I have always trusted Bryce, my trust in him has sky-rocketed. This is not to say that I never get jealous. I do. But not in a bad way, jealous in the way that I want to be with him and I’m jealous of those who get to hang out with him and see him on a daily basis.

Now, selfishly, I wish that I had more affirmation in this. I feel like every time I tell someone I’m in a long distance relationship, people automatically point out the bad, all the reasons why it won’t work. Yeah, I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but sometimes it’s just so discouraging to hear people say “you’re just a freshman, it won’t last” or “ha you must be desperate” or “you just haven’t given college enough time” or “high school relationships never work out” and on and on and on. It sucks. There are days that I feel so alone and that I’m not doing the right thing. I wish that long distance relationships had more respect, because they earn it. Unlike so many relationships, it not based on anything physical. It requires trust, and lots of it. You have to be purposeful about setting up time to talk. It requires sacrifice and hard work.

I didn’t just decide to date long distance on a whim. I gave it so much thought and prayer and consideration and in the end, God showed me what to do. For right now. What is right for my situation right now might not be the right thing in 6 months. I have no idea. But I am trusting in God to show me where he wants my relationship with Bryce. This relationship hasn’t inhibited me in making other relationships or getting involved. I can’t think of one time that I didn’t go do something because of Bryce. He understands that I have a life here and I understand he has a life at Covenant. We don’t text 24/7 or skype every day. 

This is just a short rant of what I have been feeling over the past couple months here. I just wanted to let yall know that long distance relationships are possible. You just have to set reasonable expectations. You can’t expect to skype every night and see each other every weekend. You have to let the other person grow and have their space. Long distance relationships are hard, but I know that in one way or another it’s going to pay off. I’m not doing this for nothing. God is teaching me so much through it.